PeterGriffinn

When I hear myself eating crunchy food, I wonder if people can hear it too.

TeamGuyWhoAlmostHitBellaWiththeVan

"Kidnapping" is such a strong word. I prefer to say "Surprise Adoption".

Missed Calls: Dad (1), Sister (1), Mom (4 ...

Waiting behind a door to scare someone, then leaving because they take too long to come out.

When people ask for candy I'm eating, I give them the flavor I don't like.

White People: "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG" Black People: "OH HELL YEAH NIGGA THIS MY SHIT!"

Wheeennn ppeeeooopleee tyyyppee likeee thiiissss I reeeaaaddddd iiiit aaaall looooong aaand weeeeeirdddd iiiiin myyyyy heaaaaaadddd!

Has anybody ever stuck their hand out the window and played 'arm wrestle the air'?

Dear math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Giving a look to your best friend when someone you hate walks in the room...

People have probably learned more from Google than from school.